i'm afraid... as far as my life thus far goes? its been decent, but a recent event has really made me take a look back at my life and really made me think about what i've done, and to whom.
to... all my friends and family...
to my lovers and enemies...
to the people i hated and barely knew...
i feel fucking awful...
i hate it... i took everyone for granted, and its those people who i never get to talk to anymore because of some stupid choice i've made or my general avoidance issues.
my general paranoia and stupidity, make me just, all around anti-social, and probably a not-so-pleasent person to be around.
there are so many people i wish i could just sit down and talk to, who i wish i could up and write a note to, detailing whhy i feel this way... but for almost all of them, i can't... because they've blocked me.
unfortunately... that makes apologizing properly, extermely difficult,
i really truely wish i had the chance to speak to everyone.. and write to each of them properly, but as for right now, i need to get my own remourse under control...